I've been gone a while, not really "gone", rather more on a voyage of sorts. It's Valentine's Day and I've gotten really cute goodies from my friends. More than I expected, I love them all. I don't have an official 'valentine' or lover to share the day with for the first time in about seven years, which is a little sad, but not so much because the day seems so small compared to all the things I have to get done in coming time. *DEADLINES*. I guess I'm too busy to really think about the whole situation, which isn't so bad anyhow (I don't think so anyway).
Let's see, for starters, the LOVE. 2010 show was breathtaking. There were so many amazing pieces and everything looked absolutely beautiful. There was a ballet show, which was so nice to watch and my piece, which was titled 'burning passion', was showcased in the 'heart room': a separate room with glass doors and walls. Small in size with wooden floors and lovely red lighting to accompany the magnificent 'heart beats and moans' sensual mix crafted by another artist (I wish I could remember his name. Great piece nonetheless). My painting got good feedback and I am very pleased to be part of such a great compilation. I LOVED the show. The after party was soooo much fun! I made amazing new and talented friends and danced the night away. Such a great night filled with unforgettable moments. Laugh riots galore.
This weekend, I performed in 'The Vagina Monologues', as well. Thursday, was opening night, and it was interesting to say the least. The lights were bright and the peoples quiet noises were loud enough to tie my guts, all twisted and turned. Simply put: my nerves were rattled. It starts: we walk out in line, from opposite sides of the stage, having only practiced once before. I sit. They sit. We all sit. I, the unlucky of the bunch, get the stool, from a batch of couches and comfy chairs. No back support; no cushion. From behind us a BIG PINK HEART shares tint, while staring straight at us are these blinding massive white lights. I can't see faces, but I see moving shapes, bodies and noises. First one's up, next one's me. They go on with their act, I listen somewhat, but not really because I'm just too nervous. They finish; nobody claps. I go up, I'm shaking, they're staring. I talk and talk, I break a subtle break. Nothing bad. Nothing good. I've left out a word, not that anybody notices because I'm sure most have never heard this play before, still, I break because I know. My voice shakes, I gain control. I finish. Nobody claps. Two more go up. It's my turn again. I walk up. I talk. I finish. I walk back to my cold stiff stool. Good, I think I did good, that is, until I realize I went before my turn and that the whole play might be thrown off because our acts are matched to our music. Some songs happy, others sad, some upbeat, others drag. So I freak, but I can't do anything about it because we can't really move, let alone talk. Luckily, the girl that was supposed to go after me (NOT after the girl who goes before me) realized my weensy mistake and with a nod, she walks up to the stage. Somehow, the music tech got our songs fixed and she walked out to her appointed mix. I'm up again. I do my thing, I talk my talk, but the damage is done; I walk back in shame. I am such an amateur. This is so embarrassing, but I don't show any of this. Of course I don't, I can't, I'm onstage! We finish, we bow. The audience finally claps, but we're not done. We have still another show to do and I can't express how glad this makes me. I need redemption; I need to know I can do this. My friends who attended the play said they didn't notice any mistakes, in fact, they congratulated me and said I did great. Still, in the eyes of my fellow actresses, who I might add, have done plenty of plays before, I looked like a complete unprepared, unaware moron.
Friday was fun, just a night out with some valuable lessons. (Note to self: fuck yous should not be handed out freely (even to obnoxious persistent men who can't read hints))
Saturday comes along and I'm ready to own. I got rid of my nerves, I stopped worrying about how good the other girls were, and about what they thought about me. I stopped worrying about the way I looked, the way I talked, the way I stood, held my hands and arms, and I simply shared my stories. I was sad about my marriage. I was angry at my husband for cheating on me. I talked about the beauty of my vagina, about the wonders of the clitoris, and the nightmare that is genital mutilation. I fell into character and felt a rush. I believed; they believed. We got caught in my monologue. There was nothing to fight. I loved the way our audience was so interactive. They clapped after each act and laughed uninhibited laughs. They clapped for me, they laughed at my jokes, and I truly felt their shock in their thick silence. This night was my night. I loved it. I loved the feeling. The girls congratulated me and I knew this was the way it's done.
I enjoyed myself so much and I look forward to being part of other projects like this. I guess everybody has their little falls, but it's good to remember to learn and take from them, no matter how embarrassing, how minute, insignificant, life changing, or not.
So that was my weekend. I liked it overall. It was a fresh experience. Now, I'm off to order in with my little brother, watch a flurry of movies, and eat v-day candy and chocolates 'till we both pop! Pretty sweet Valentine's Day I'd say.
xoxo HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY xoxo,
Amely
Let's see, for starters, the LOVE. 2010 show was breathtaking. There were so many amazing pieces and everything looked absolutely beautiful. There was a ballet show, which was so nice to watch and my piece, which was titled 'burning passion', was showcased in the 'heart room': a separate room with glass doors and walls. Small in size with wooden floors and lovely red lighting to accompany the magnificent 'heart beats and moans' sensual mix crafted by another artist (I wish I could remember his name. Great piece nonetheless). My painting got good feedback and I am very pleased to be part of such a great compilation. I LOVED the show. The after party was soooo much fun! I made amazing new and talented friends and danced the night away. Such a great night filled with unforgettable moments. Laugh riots galore.
This weekend, I performed in 'The Vagina Monologues', as well. Thursday, was opening night, and it was interesting to say the least. The lights were bright and the peoples quiet noises were loud enough to tie my guts, all twisted and turned. Simply put: my nerves were rattled. It starts: we walk out in line, from opposite sides of the stage, having only practiced once before. I sit. They sit. We all sit. I, the unlucky of the bunch, get the stool, from a batch of couches and comfy chairs. No back support; no cushion. From behind us a BIG PINK HEART shares tint, while staring straight at us are these blinding massive white lights. I can't see faces, but I see moving shapes, bodies and noises. First one's up, next one's me. They go on with their act, I listen somewhat, but not really because I'm just too nervous. They finish; nobody claps. I go up, I'm shaking, they're staring. I talk and talk, I break a subtle break. Nothing bad. Nothing good. I've left out a word, not that anybody notices because I'm sure most have never heard this play before, still, I break because I know. My voice shakes, I gain control. I finish. Nobody claps. Two more go up. It's my turn again. I walk up. I talk. I finish. I walk back to my cold stiff stool. Good, I think I did good, that is, until I realize I went before my turn and that the whole play might be thrown off because our acts are matched to our music. Some songs happy, others sad, some upbeat, others drag. So I freak, but I can't do anything about it because we can't really move, let alone talk. Luckily, the girl that was supposed to go after me (NOT after the girl who goes before me) realized my weensy mistake and with a nod, she walks up to the stage. Somehow, the music tech got our songs fixed and she walked out to her appointed mix. I'm up again. I do my thing, I talk my talk, but the damage is done; I walk back in shame. I am such an amateur. This is so embarrassing, but I don't show any of this. Of course I don't, I can't, I'm onstage! We finish, we bow. The audience finally claps, but we're not done. We have still another show to do and I can't express how glad this makes me. I need redemption; I need to know I can do this. My friends who attended the play said they didn't notice any mistakes, in fact, they congratulated me and said I did great. Still, in the eyes of my fellow actresses, who I might add, have done plenty of plays before, I looked like a complete unprepared, unaware moron.
Friday was fun, just a night out with some valuable lessons. (Note to self: fuck yous should not be handed out freely (even to obnoxious persistent men who can't read hints))
Saturday comes along and I'm ready to own. I got rid of my nerves, I stopped worrying about how good the other girls were, and about what they thought about me. I stopped worrying about the way I looked, the way I talked, the way I stood, held my hands and arms, and I simply shared my stories. I was sad about my marriage. I was angry at my husband for cheating on me. I talked about the beauty of my vagina, about the wonders of the clitoris, and the nightmare that is genital mutilation. I fell into character and felt a rush. I believed; they believed. We got caught in my monologue. There was nothing to fight. I loved the way our audience was so interactive. They clapped after each act and laughed uninhibited laughs. They clapped for me, they laughed at my jokes, and I truly felt their shock in their thick silence. This night was my night. I loved it. I loved the feeling. The girls congratulated me and I knew this was the way it's done.
I enjoyed myself so much and I look forward to being part of other projects like this. I guess everybody has their little falls, but it's good to remember to learn and take from them, no matter how embarrassing, how minute, insignificant, life changing, or not.
So that was my weekend. I liked it overall. It was a fresh experience. Now, I'm off to order in with my little brother, watch a flurry of movies, and eat v-day candy and chocolates 'till we both pop! Pretty sweet Valentine's Day I'd say.
xoxo HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY xoxo,
Amely
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